Step 6

“Were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character.”

 When we truly look at our own negative attitudes and beliefs we become more aware of their essential lack of love and lack of honoring love in their execution. The result of this is inescapable suffering, for ourselves and for others. And even though we were quite fond of some of our defects of character whether it be grandiosity, arrogance, judgmental-ism, we see in examining the ultimate effect of these as doing harm to ourselves and to others. The twelve-step program of recovery asked only that we be willing to remove or let go of things that we truly do not need. The important thing about that is that we become fully able to see that that is true. There is not one defect of character that will answer the aching need of our heart and soul for true love and acceptance. There is not one cherished self-defeating attitude or behavior that will meet any of our true or deed needs. And as we look over our using histories and lives we see again and again, dishonesty, manipulation, conceit, passivity, perpetuate both our inner sorrow and our substance use. The greatest gift of recovery is discovering true love within oneself and for others. We cannot realize this gift as long as we hang on to any attitude or behavior that stands in direct opposition to true love. We must truly see what our bargain is in the question of letting go of defects of character versus cultivating and living a life based on true love and acceptance. True love does have some conditions. It cannot exist where negativity is held and perpetuated. Or at least, it cannot be seen or experienced when illusions are held before it. When we realize the true price that we pay for hanging on to our defects of character and at the same time realize the true beauty and wonder that we deny ourselves for hanging onto these things, then we will be entirely ready to have all of these removed. It is God, in the end, that removes these defects from us. For it is by choosing love , seeking the guidance of love, following the way of love, that our illusions and our negative thoughts and beliefs are dissolved and replaced by the love that gains greater life within us.

Step 5

“Admitted to God, ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

 It has been said that confession is good for the soul. This is particularly true for this step, as it represents one of the first major steps of humility and bravery - to confront ourselves as we are and take responsibility for our own behaviors. The magic of this step lies in the conversion that takes place from confronting our false self and being willing to let go of our delusions of innocence in regards to our behavior. Taking this step helps to result in the emergence of true perspective on ourselves and solid self-esteem based upon taking personal responsibility and owning up to difficult truths. The steps helps us to bridge the gap between who we really are and our false self. Honesty and responsibility are bridges to true self-esteem and self-respect. Through the process of admitting the harm that we have caused others and ourselves we come to grow and compassion and empathy for ourselves and those who have suffered at our hands. This is a critical aspect of spiritual growth and a critical component of growing in true love. Remembering, that true love is about honoring the value of ourselves and others, and is respectful to that value to take responsibility for harm and suffering committed. As we admit the truth of what we’ve done, we come home to ourselves and the possibility of a new life and new personality that is founded on love, compassion, empathy, and forgiveness. We find freedom from our own shame and guilt as we take responsibility and ultimately find forgiveness in the humanity of our personality and actions. This is true maturity and also helps us to evolve from the rampant immatruity demonstrated  back in our using days and through our addict/alcoholic personalities.